Tag Archives: crazy

The Georgian…The End

the georgian 1
Figure I’ve bored you enough with the Santa Monica stories this week so I promise, this will be the last one.
But I had to show you our hotel…
And the food we ate at that hotel.
And some scenes from the Santa Monica Pier (where I ate cotton candy. There is no proof of that though.)

051 (oatmeal)

050 (french toast souffle. seriously. french toast, as a souffle.)

And just think, this is how we started our day, everyday. (Tell me again why I had to go home?)

Especially when the views were exactly like this…everywhere you looked. Ugh…
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And because I took something like 400 pictures of the ferris wheel on the Santa Monica Pier, I’m making you suffer through these next few…

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502

707

688

Thanks for indulging me this week in my futile attempt to mentally remain on vacation. It’s been far more entertaining than acknowledging the obvious fact that I’ve been back in reality this whole time…
ps. T-8 days until my next out of town adventure.

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White Trash Wednesday – Triscuit Pizza

triscuit pizza

Those my friends are what I like to call cracker sized bites of heaven. I wish I could take credit for them, but I swear my sister told me years ago that these little beauties are a part of the Sugar Busters diet. Then again, I could be wrong. It could be in fact that my sister is a genius put on earth to make up wonderfully delightfully white trashy recipes just for me to enjoy.

Or not.

Either way, I eat these. I’m not ashamed to admit it either. Because see, here’s the thing…on the weekends I never have lunch type foods around. Don’t ask me why. But I do always have Triscuits and cheese. And on the ever so rare occasion (which isn’t so rare), I have pizza sauce and pepperoni slices. What? That’s normal, right?

So making these for a meal is easy.

It requires four whole ingredients.

ingredients:
pizza sauce (don’t skimp, get the Ragu Pizza Sauce)
pepperoni – turkey or regular
Triscuits – I actually only use, I mean eat, the reduced fat ones. Really, when you’re eating cardboard, there’s no difference in taste.
shredded mozzarella

To make:
Lay out your Triscuits on a baking sheet.
Top with the sauce (as little or as much as you’d like)
Add the cheese
Finish with a slice of pepperoni

Bake at 350 for 7-10 minutes or until your cheese has melted and the pepperoni starts to look crispy.
But be careful…as Amy put it, that sauce will be hotter than magma.

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iced mocha frappe

Yesterday was yet another 100 degree day here in Atlanta and it’s practically impossible to cool off. So in an effort to beat the heat I made a frosty treat…one that should only be consumed when you don’t give a rat’s hiney about calories…
Trust me…

iced mocha frappe

Ingredients:
4 cups brewed coffee, hot
4 packs hot chocolate mix
4 tablespoons sugar (I opted for 2 packets splenda- my lame attempt at saving calories)
1 cup heavy cream
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Whipped cream, for garnish

Directions:
In a heat-proof bowl or pitcher, add the coffee, hot chocolate mix, and sugar/splenda. Stir until well combined. Pour the mixture into ice cube trays and freeze, covered, for at least 3 hours and up to 1 week.

When ready to make, put the frozen cubes* in a blender. Add the cream and vanilla and puree until smooth. Divide the frappe into tall glasses and top with whipped cream.
iced mocha frappe2
*I  had enough coffee mix for two ice trays, but only used one tray of cubes when making the frappe. Still used 1 cup cream and 2 tsp vanilla extract.

ps. does this blog make me look fat? i thought so.
pps. this was pretty darn close to tasting just like a starbucks mocha frappuccino except I think the version I made had twice as many calories.  heavy cream? are you kidding me?

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White Trash Wednesday – Fire Pies

Working off of the fried pie theme, fellow blogger Amy, from (the incredibly witty and clever blog) Fix It Or Deal, sent me quite the doozy of a recipe.  For Fire Pies.

Howdy!
Your delicious blueberry fried pies reminded me of a very white trashy version: Fire Pies.  Just in case you are ever desperate for White Trash Wednesday material*, here is the recipe:
White bread – Wonder, Sunbeam, Bunny, whatever brand you prefer
Fruit Jelly – or jam, if you wanna get fancy.  Any flavor.
Butter – or margarine or “spread”

Fire – the bigger the better, if you have gasoline, use it
Cast Iron Pie Cooker – these babies can make much more than pies and they are a handy weapon if you are out of buckshot (buy yours from Amazon.com today)
Cast-Iron Campfire Pie Cooker

Butter a slice of bread, on the unbuttered side, add a heapin’ dollop of jelly, top with another slice of bread, buttered side out.  Place jelly sandwich inside the pie cooker, close and latch the cooker then hold over the fire, turning a few times for even cooking.  After about five minutes (or the time it takes to drink one PBR) remove cooker from fire, open and dump your fire pie on to a paper plate.  IMPORTANT!: Pie filling will be hotter than magma.  If you like having a tongue, wait for pie to cool a bit before eating.

 

See, I told you she was witty.
Now when you’re done here, go read her stuff. And check out her works.

*And yes, I am always on the hunt for great white trash recipes.  If you have one you’d like to submit, send an email (that will totally be included in the blog post) and the recipe to me at kmslat@yahoo.com

And a big thanks to Amy for sending such a great WTW recipe my way.

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White Trash Wednesday! How to Host a White Trash Shindig!

After such a great response to sweet Helen’s incredibly helpful blog post on how to host a dinner party, several of you guys, ahem, Amy, Emily, Brooke, Melissa all pointed out the obvious…that I should do the White Trash version. I’m embarassed that I didn’t think of this myself. So thanks to these lovely ladies, I went on a mission to find someone who is more familiar with WT parties than I am.

Luckily for me, my mother in law, Rhooby Sue, is.  After all, she’s hosted her very own White Trash party.

So by default, she is today’s guest blogger. Lucky her!

White Trash party tips by Rhooby Sue.

Let’s start with the basics:

You need to remove ALL knick-knacks, wall art/photos, and nice furniture.  Store all valuables in your garage or in an unused room.

You’ll need to wrap the upholstered furniture in plastic (you can get plastic in a huge roll at Lowe’s, doesn’t cost much) because all “nice” white trash families want to keep their upholstered stuff looking good. Don’t clean the house for about a week to make sure there’s plenty of dust on the floors and tables. To step it up, rent (from a junk store at minimal cost) some trashy “art” – for example, naked lady statues, UGLY lamps, etc…. You will also need some trashy calendars to hang on the wall, along with pictures of Elvis, any Nascar driver, Jesus (preferably a velvet version of The Last Supper), and anything else perceived as trash.

If you can, prop up an old Coke Machine in the living room for good measure. Make sure to include a toilet on your front lawn because nothing says white trash more than the porcelain god as lawn art.

toilet rhooby
Be sure to put fake flowers in the outside toilet and while you’re at it, plant them in the yard.  Because let’s be honest, most white trash neighborhoods grow nothing except weeds, so fake flowers are perfect.

Don’t forget to place several bags of trash outside as well. If you have children, toss their toys across your front yard. Hang laundry on the front porch so that people will have to move the laundry aside to walk through the door. Hang underwear (not yours, hit up Wal-Mart, clothing centers for extra, extra large sizes, bras included) inside the house. Throw clothes, blankets, and all kinds of junk over your furniture.

A classy white trash party hostess will place Aqua Net hair spray in every room so that the ladies can “touch up” when they feel their hair drooping.

As for the menu, might I recommend the following:

Appetizers:
Cheetos
Vienna Sausages
spam fondue

Main Course:
Potato chip sandwiches
Hamburger Salad Sandwiches
White Bread Pizza

Desserts:
moon pies
White Trash Brownies
browniescooked

 

Libations:
RC Cola (and jack)
PBR
Whiskey Slush Punch

And don’t forget the games!
1. using Twinkies, see who can put one the farthest down their throat (no, it doesn’t look very nice, but it’s pure white trash).
2. who can throw the cow chip the farthest (unless you live in a barn please use moon pies to do this).
3. and it’s not a white trash party without a seed spitting contest.

And then there’s the invitation: handwritten on toilet paper. (It might take a while to do this because the sheets are fragile, but it will be worth every second!) Fold and put in plain white envelopes before mailing. Please make sure proper grammar is not used.

And last but not least, when hosting a White Trash Party, it is imperative that you and your guests not only dress the part, but act it too!

And take lots and lots of pictures because I’m dying to see them!

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dishes and ramekins and bowls, oh my!

While I spent the weekend at my parents’ house…home alone…with nothing to do, I decided to really check out my mom’s kitchenware inventory.  {I was bored, sue me.}

I knew the lady had a serious stash of dishes, but I didn’t realize she had a full on addiction.

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No, for real. The woman is addicted.
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She has dinner plates, and ramekins, and bowls, and serving trays, and serving bowls, and soup bowls, and pitchers, and oh my lord she’s got everything! And in every color of the rainbow.

dinnerware

Here I’m only showing you one plate of each set. That means that we’re potentially talking about a minimum of 28 dishes. And that my friends is merely a fraction of what she’s got stored away in that kitchen.

Now if only I could figure out how they all fit in the cabinets.
Trust me, I’ve been in that kitchen, it’s not as big as these dishes might have you think.

I probably should have snagged a few of them for myself. I mean, it’s not like she’s going to notice anything missing, right?

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Home Improvement

And I don’t mean in the Tim Allen, silly TV show kind of way.

chaotic home

Nope, this weekend my dear sweet in-laws flew down to Atlanta to help us paint our entire house.

Good thing we only live in a 1300 square foot townhouse and not some 6500 sq foot mcmansion. (Then again, if we lived in a mcmansion, we’d probably be able to afford painters…)

chaotic home
Instead we just hire my husband’s parents. (And by hire I mean hire for free.) They seem to fill the roles of day-laborers very, very well.
A little too well if you ask me.

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